To be grateful
An emergency admittance of a tiny being into hospital sent us all into a holding pattern of concern and hope. It was a reminder to be grateful today.
It takes a loved one being admitted to hospital to focus one’s attention on what is important. That the loved one was our six week old grandson going in for heart surgery made for an even more pointed sense of concentration.
A routine six week check up led to Liam being admitted for observation overnight. The paediatrician was not happy with his breathing or the sound of his heart. Later that evening, the cardiologist confirmed that there was something amiss. Liam had a constricted aorta restricting blood flow that also impacted his ability to breathe properly when under stress.
A CAT scan confirmed the constriction and he was whisked directly into surgery. Everyone waited. We held our breath and tiptoed around the house checking and rechecking our phones for any news.
He’s in the best hands we all reassured ourselves. He’ll be okay, we hopefully reminded each other.
A sigh of relief
Of course he was okay. Yes, he was fine. The surgery was a success. He did have a collapsed lung but that is not unusual for an infant that goes under anaesthetic. Physio would help expand the organ. And the chest infection would be dealt with by a course of antibiotics.
We all breathed a sigh of relief. Emoji’s flashed hearts and hugs on the Whatsapp broadcast group. Messages of joy and support flooded the parents’ chats.
An exhausted Mum and Dad stumbled from visiting hour to visiting hour. They juggled Leah between themselves and family members who could step in for an hour or so. In between Mum kept the milk supply going, even her voice messages were accompanied by the hiss and sigh of the pump.
On Easter Sunday the smaller family came to us for an Easter breakfast and an egg hunt. It was a beautiful morning marked only by the absence of the littlest one.
Hot cross buns and chocolate croissants vied for space with fruit salad and yogurt. A bowl overflowing with chocolate eggs had to be hidden away from newly-made chocoholic Leah.
Her first Easter egg hunt
Leah went on her first egg hunt, bright yellow bag in hand. With the help of a clever Mum, and a few eye, head and hand gestures from Chantal and Matthew who had hidden the treasure, Leah found all the eggs. She discovered them hidden under flowers and between plants, in the crook of a tree and in the middle of a cement hares’ ears.
She squealed at each find, “Another one, so big!” she gasped putting it in the bag.
She was encouraged and applauded by the adults behind her and of course videoed every step of the way. We watched as she laid them red, yellow, blue and green on the grass. These plastic eggs hid a surprise in each one. A much better option than copious chocolate mounds, which there were enough of on the table anyway.
Next year she will have to share the eggs with Liam, thought Chantal, as the sadness that caught at the back of her throat was shooed away by hope.
To be grateful
Nothing can prepare you for your infant being admitted into hospital. After weeks of holding, cleaning, feeding and loving, suddenly there is a gaping vacuum. After a full, noisy home juggling a toddler and a few weeks old infant, abruptly there were days too quiet and off balance as if a limb had been cut off.
With only positive thoughts holding them together and no real certainty, life was lived in a wobbly hope staving off any feelings of despair. The little community of friends and family that were part of the Whatsapp group kept Cailyn and Sean going when their energy felt depleted and lost.
Little Liam was finally discharged a week and a day from being admitted to hospital. He is home. The house is full again. The noises of not only one but two children call through the walls. Their cries are a gift.
We are all grateful for the doctors and nurses. We are grateful for the swift action that was taken, for the availability of a bed in a CardioThorasic ICU, for not having to queue or wait or put names down on an ever growing list. We are very, very grateful.
We shouldn’t need an emergency like this to remind us of what is dear to us, but maybe that is its silver lining. The urgent notification that today is as important as tomorrow and the next day and the next. Today is the day to be grateful for our blessings and to hug our little and not so little ones and remind them they are welcome and they are loved.
Until next time.
Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew
The emperor’s new emotions
Anthropic looked inside their AI, Claude, and found 171 patterns of neural activity that correspond to emotion words. They called them functional emotions. Then they recommended giving the AI healthier psychology.
We’ve spent many years working with real emotions in real bodies. Here’s what we think Anthropic missed.
Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place
Written by
Chantal Dawtrey
Supporting women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions · Emotional fitness coach
Chantal supports women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions. She designs and delivers data informed digital programmes that build organisational emotional fitness. She helps people move beyond habitual patterns into greater awareness, agency, and well being.
With over 15 years of coaching experience and more than two decades in facilitation and human development, Chantal partners with individuals, teams, and organizations to build emotional resilience, enhance self-awareness, and develop sustainable well-being strategies.
Her primary focus as a coach is supporting women, especially those in their 50’s and beyond, to navigate profound life transitions with clarity, steadiness and self-reconnection. Finding answers to questions about identity, purpose, belonging and desire to an emergence, a reclamation and a return to self.
If you're going through a transition and would like support, let's talk.
Matthew Green
Reducing the Certainty Deficit in high-performing people and teams · Emotional fitness coach
Matthew works with athletes, performance teams, and anyone who wants to reduce the Certainty Deficit in their situation or context.
The Certainty Deficit is the space between what you can do and what your body will let you do when it counts. It is context-specific and situational. A person or athlete can have zero deficit in one situation and a significant one in another.
The body holds beliefs that keep the Certainty Deficit in place. These beliefs run deeper than self-talk and faster than any conscious strategy. When they shift, the ceiling shifts, and new possibilities arise.
Matthew is also an emotional fitness coach who supports individuals to live and lead from a place of inner clarity and stability. The work is somatic-first, practical, and grounded.
If you're seeing a pattern that current approaches haven't shifted, let's talk.
My origin story: Why elite athletes underperform when it counts
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