The feedback loop

The alarm went off so early and just in time to halt the perpetual dreams of being late. Bleary-eyed, Chantal rolled out of bed and stumbled to the shower. Her bags were packed, she just needed to wake up properly, get dressed and, with the loving assistance of Matthew, be driven down eleven blocks to meet the shuttle that was taking her and her colleague to the airport. It was Monday morning and they were off to Stellenbosch Business School. Here they would join the team for the professional assessment week of the 2024 cohort of MPhil in Leadership Coaching students.

A week of early mornings and late nights lay ahead for the assessors. The days were full to bursting with assessments of presentations and coaching demonstrations and lots of moving parts in between. Chantal had been through this herself as a student in the same programme many years ago. All the other assessors, many of whom were lecturers on the programme, had gone through a similar process too. Chantal keenly remembered the anxiety that had clouded the days before.

Being assessed is never fun

Five students trickled into the room designated for their group. One was running late. Notorious Cape Town traffic. He arrived apologising through heavy breaths, sweat coating his upper lip. Of course as fate would have it, he was on the list to go first.

“Just take a deep breath,” said Chantal, “I’ve rearranged the order so you don’t need to go first.”

“Remember everyone,” she continued, “I understand that being assessed is never fun, it’s anxiety provoking. But you have done the work, this is your opportunity to show off the effort, the learning and the growth you have been through this year.”

And they were off. An hour for each that included time for questions and review. Outside the sun shone magnificently in a blue, blue sky, while the wind gusted and swirled. Inside we sat in air conditioned, artificially lit and very still rooms.

Back home in Johannesburg the sun was shining too. A welcome respite from relentless rain and cloud. It was an opportunity for Matthew to properly attend to the garden, the odd leak and do more clearing away. Of course there was business work to be done too, with multiple meetings and coaching sessions.

Celebrating 200 issues of our newsletter! 🎉

Back in August 2018, we sent out our very first newsletter, not knowing exactly where this journey would take us. Since then, through all the ebbs and flows, we’ve kept showing up—sharing insights, reflections, and tools to build emotional fitness. And now, here we are, at Issue #200! 🎈

This milestone is a testament to our commitment, your engagement, and the power of persistence. Whether you’ve been with us since the beginning or recently joined, we’re grateful to have you here as part of our journey. ❤️

To celebrate, we want to give back in a meaningful way.

A special gift for a lucky reader 🎁

We’re offering a free coaching chemistry session with either Matthew or Chantal. 🌟 This is an opportunity to explore where you’re at, what’s holding you back, and how emotional fitness can help you move forward.

Want a chance to win? Simply reply to this email with the word celebrate, and we’ll enter you into the draw.

Thank you for being part of our journey. Here’s to the next 200!

When the cat’s away

Chantal spent two full and focused days absorbed in the stories of the students’ progress through the programme and evaluated their coaching ability. At the end of each day, as the students left feeling lighter and less stressed, there was little time for relaxation for her. Lengthy hours lay ahead to carefully consider the evidence, allocate marks with the commensurate feedback and be ready for moderation on Thursday.

“I don’t know where the time goes,” she commented to her fellow Joburg assessor, “It’s intense work with a great deal to get through and so much to juggle.”

“It’s always like this,” replied her teammate, “Concentrated, non-stop and also really worthwhile work.”

As the students closed out their final evaluation Chantal asked them to reflect on their experience.

“I’m so relieved it is done,” said one.

“I’ve learnt so much from everyone else’s work too,” said another.

“I believe that I could have done better, but I have to be okay with what I produced on the day,” commented a student soberly.

“Feedback is on Friday,” said Chantal, “ Another valuable opportunity for learning. It takes skill to give and receive feedback. I’ll see you then.”

Meanwhile Matthew was having a marvelous time in Linden. He connected with many. He had stimulating, engaged conversations during the day, and was invited out for supper almost every night.

“Ah, when the cat’s away…” remarked Chantal in jest.

Oh there were also some maintenance emergencies he had to contend with, a problematic toilet and a leaking shower, so he was swimming in more ways than one. No evidence of the indoor flood was visible when the traveller returned home either.

The feedback loop

Chantal knew that some of her students would be disappointed with their marks. The assessment process and marking had been rigorously moderated so she was confident that the marks were fair. Still, some students were better than their results portrayed and that was often a hard reality to deal with.

Students were first asked to reflect on how they felt they did. Most were accurately able to say where they felt they did well, and where their gaps were.

The delight on the faces of the students who had excelled was like a flash of light in the small room, all smiles and big sighs of satisfaction. The disappointment that clouded the brow of those who expected more of themselves had to be gently held and acknowledged.

As Chantal explained the rationale behind the marks, there was an acknowledgement and some acceptance of the situation. In some instances a realisation and clarity of what to do going forward.

“Ah,” said one, “As you talk about how I was so action-oriented, I realise that that is the kind of coach I am: action-centred. My coaching needs to be focused on action-centred leadership.”

The feedback loop actively engaged each student in their learning journey. They showed remarkable maturity listening to the comments. Those that performed well acknowledged that there was always room for improvement. Those that felt regret or dismay at their mistakes and mishaps accepted responsibility for these while plotting what to do differently going forward.

Red pen crosses

Being assessed and evaluated can hook us in all kinds of ways. Matthew has memories of red pen crosses marching through school books. Chantal cringes at thoughts of authority figures admonishing her with wagging fingers. Both of us suffered from curling stomachs and aching heads from the real fear of failure conjured up by a society determined to scare us into conforming and doing well.

Constructive criticism can feel more critical than constructive but when done well, feedback has been incredibly valuable for both of us. Not easy to hear, necessarily, but being able to to move through the discomfort of the challenge allowed for real growth, personal and professional development.

When the redoing and reworking has finally resulted in success it is as important to stop for a moment, take stock and acknowledge the achievement. So often this is a passing pause before galloping onto the next challenge. As much as the challenge is necessary for growth, so is the recognition of a job well done, a test passed, a contest won.

As the first month of a new year draws to a close, what can you stop to celebrate for more than a moment? It’s in the small sustainable successes that significant shifts are made.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

Credits for this issue — Images: Midjourney & 5th Place