Some things can’t wait

Chantal spent a week working in Cape Town. The second last week in January is professional assessment for all the students on the MPhil in Leadership Coaching programme.

“What was the weather like?” asked a friend when Chantal returned to Johannesburg.

“Sunny with a sea breeze. Not as hot as here in Joburg,” Chantal answered.

She did not see much of the Mother City as she was holed up at the Stellenbosch Business School or the hotel room. Days started early and ended late. It was all consuming. The assessors spent their hours preparing for, conducting, moderating and giving feedback to students on their presentations and live coaching sessions. It took five very full and intense days.

On Friday when the results were given to the students in one on one sessions, there was an equal measure of delight and disappointment. They had all worked hard, of that there was no doubt. Some had missed out elements that cost them marks. There were no failures and no repeats. Just feedback and opportunities for growth.

A leaky culprit uncovered

Matthew had been particularly busy while Chantal was away. There is a list of home maintenance projects that was hanging around making him itchy. He used this week to tackle the most urgent.

The leak in the main bathroom that not only had not gone away, despite several attempts at fixing it, had climbed the wall in damp defiance. We were at our wits end. What did we need to do to fix it? Dig up the entire shower?

The usual suspect was attended to first: the drain. Dug up again, bits of outlet pipes replaced, closed up again, re-mosaiced again. The plumber was concerned. The extent of the damp did not make sense. He wondered if there was another source.

Showerheads were removed, pipes stoppered. If there was a leak this would reveal it. With no shower running to hide the noise, there it was, a soft ‘shshshsh” coming from the wall.

Tiles were ground off and masonry chipped away to reveal the culprit. A pipe not properly sealed in a hasty fix years ago before we bought the house.

“Oh my goodness, that’s been leaking like that every time we had a shower. For more than the seven years we have been here. More than seven years! No wonder the wall is waterlogged!” gasped Chantal when Matthew sent her the photos and video.

In a bathroom covered in powder dust, the pipe was fixed, with elbows and proper seals. Tested to double check. And triple check again. Then filled in and a line of mosaic used to tile the gash.

We are hopeful that the leaks have been sorted out once and for all. We are very hopeful. Only time will tell, though. And a damp free wall. Fingers crossed!

A car with a wheeze

There were many other small and not so small issues that Matthew was able to attend to over the course of a Chantal-free week. Dribbling toilet – fixed. Mixer replaced – looks great. Car serviced. Still wheezes and whistles when it’s started in the morning cold. How disappointing. Matthew was frustrated.

“Google it. I bet you will find the problem yourself,” said Chantal, “It’s probably dust in some pipe somewhere.” Said with all the conviction of a seasoned mechanic.

The car is old but it shouldn’t wheeze quite as badly as it does. It is back to the mechanic to relook at the list of potential reasons that Chantal pulled off the internet.

“At least we’ll get a list of what isn’t the problem,” said Chantal.

“And hopefully get it fixed!” sighed Matthew.

Owning a house and a car means maintenance. Ongoing maintenance. It has felt as if there are suddenly lots of things that need attention. We’re sure that there is no more than anyone else has to deal with but it can feel overwhelming and energy sapping to attend to. Especially when there is the pressing need to source work.

No excuses

There is no real excuse, though. Some of the bits and pieces could have been attended to ages ago. We just left them. We procrastinated because they weren’t that urgent and we had more important things to do.

It is so true that energy flows where attention goes. In our case it wasn’t towards the many small maintenance irks. We all know what happens when we set something aside for another day. And another day. And a day after that.

The tap, tap of the irksome issues gets louder and more insistent. An ignoring wall is constructed to keep the noise out but soon the cacophony blows the bricks down. The discomfort cannot be ignored. The jobs have to be done.

When the racket has subsided and the cracks, leaks and chips have been fixed, we wonder why it took us so long.

Some things can’t wait

Some things can’t wait. A baby, for example. Chantal’s daughter, Cailyn, is due mid February with her second child, a boy. She is beautifully round and magnificently heavy.

“I can’t wait for him to be born,” wailed the pregnant mum, sweltering in the highveld heat, “I can’t sleep, I can’t sit, he’s right on my bladder!”

As we wait with happy anticipation we know there are going to be big upheavals and change in the Hancock household.

Baby won’t wait. He is coming ready or not. It’s the ready bit that the parents are wondering about. No amount of planning can ensure an easy transition. To be a parent is to manage complexity. Every day. Adding another sibling to the family unit increases the complexity.

There is constant change and no certainty. Parents have to navigate parenting through trial and error. What worked for baby one may not necessarily work for baby two, three or more. Parenting is full of anticipation and anxiety, expectation and exasperation. And love, and laughter, and so much joy.

It would be good to approach all our complex lives with a balance of anticipation and joy. The joy that comes from the perfection of a new born infant and the anticipation of what he is to become. If we could hold that place for ourselves and honour our innate perfection no matter how many flaws we have, what joy could spill forth in our lives? What joy, indeed.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place