Somatic surfing

Just like that we went from a soggy, grey summer that stretched and stretched into autumn and then suddenly turned into a bright and bitter winter. In South Africa we don’t really have marked changes from season to season. Our autumn is usually mild with some colour change in leaves of exotic trees and bushes. Nothing like the striking Fall colours of the northern hemisphere where every plant worth its weight in snow will shed its leaves in a dramatic wave of yellows, oranges and reds.

This year our autumn in the highveld was wet, unusually wet for a dry winter area. It was with glee that we welcomed the sun back again while we had our breath taken away with the sudden cold and blustery wind.

In southern parts of the country heavy rains washed away roads and flooded areas. Trees, their roots soaked and unstable, were brought down by wild winds which also whisked gutters and roofing off buildings. Early snowfalls shocked residents and kept people indoors. The unseasonal shifts in weather had everybody running for cover.

Somewhat unprepared

Chantal was caught somewhat unprepared for the dip in temperatures. Her winter clothes were still tucked away in storage bins in stuffed storage rooms still waiting for some respite from the ongoing upgrades to the house and basement.

Layering was the order of the colder days. Layering of long tee’s under long sleeved blouses, under cardigans, under jackets. With jeans. Blue jeans, and black jeans and light jeans.

“I’ve had enough of wearing jeans!” she said in exasperation, thinking of the months of jeans-wearing that still lay ahead of her.

It was Mother’s Day weekend and jeans would not do. The storage bins were dragged out from their hidey holes. They were wiped down and emptied of their warmer outfits. With the sun smiling in a sparkling sky it was time for something more colourful and feminine.

“Before it is too cold I am determined to wear as many of my winter dresses as I can,” muttered Chantal as she placed almost forgotten frocks in the new cupboards.

Crazy relations

Our weekend started on Friday with an early pizza and salad at The Fat Zebra. We were welcomed with smiles and hugs by the staff who call us “family”. The food, unpretentious and delicious, was accompanied by a good bottle of red wine. We tucked in and talked and left warm and content.

It was early enough to catch another episode or more of Schitt’s Creek. We are late coming to this show on Netflix but have laughed heartily through the first two seasons. It’s going off soon so we will have to find another way to watch the remainder of the six seasons. We so enjoy the ridiculousness of this dysfunctional family. It makes us feel so much better about the craziness we may have in our respective relations.

Recently Chantal had her will updated. She had shared the contents with her children and asked that if there were items of hers that they would like, they should tell her.

“It’s best to have it sorted out beforehand, so that you don’t fight over it when I’m gone,” she said sagely.

Cailyn was quick on the uptake. She has always known what she wants. Judson is a little slower and less decisive.

On Sunday, the two of them sat at the dining room table. They had organised a Mother’s Day tea for Chantal.

“That clock is going to look so nice on my wall,” said Cailyn, looking at the Dutch clock.

“I actually wanted that clock,” remarked Judson, “But you were so quick to choose it I had no chance!”

“You’ve got the gramophone,” said Cailyn, “I actually wanted that but thought it was better you had it as you are the musical one.”

They argued good naturedly with each other over things they wanted, sounding a bit like David and Alexis Rose.

Judson turned to Chantal and asked, “Do you think I can get the clock Gransha has?”

He may be slow to decide but he is wiley.

“Best you speak to Gransha,” laughed Chantal.

Dysfunctional families

Every family is dysfunctional in some way. It’s a hoop to be jumped through if unhealthy patterns in your own life are to be healed. The dysfunction can be subtle or overt, but it’s there whether we like it or not. It is often sulking under the surface of consciousness directing behaviours that are not always the most resourceful.

Last week Matthew had a deeply held issue released that took him quite by surprise. Our physio also does craniosacral therapy. Matthew goes to her to have his wonky finger looked at or a dodgy back from all the exercise he is doing. He usually gets more than he bargained for from the session. Last week was no different.

“I feel a bit wrung out,” he said on his return and shared what had transpired.

“The thing I find fascinating about this body or somatic work,” Matthew said, “Is this issue has been sitting there for years. It needed clearing. But why now? What triggered it to surface at this time?”

There were a couple of things that came up. It could have been any one or none of them. Who knows what stimulates the unconscious mind to suddenly let something loose?

Somatic surfing

Whatever it was, it certainly needed someone to support Matthew in the releasing process. We can try to do it by ourselves but the blindspots, ego wall and systemic maps we carry do not work in our favour. This conundrum was a topic that sailed through lunch with friends and coffee with new acquaintances on Saturday.

The body knows best. It does as good a job as it can to communicate with us. Unfortunately, we have, to a large extent, lost the language and ability to interpret. It takes a skilled somatic worker to provide the environment to connect the cords and allow the words and visions through.

It’s a bit like surfing the internet but somatically. You do a search and sometimes you are lucky and the very thing you are looking for pops up right at the top of the page. Other times it can take a bit of wading to find the exact article or information.

Somatic surfing is similar. You start off somewhere, asking some question about some issue and you may get the answer you were looking for right away. Or you may get something completely surprising. The body was ready. The channels were opened. Communication happened. Release was allowed.

Somatic work like craniosacral, Shape of Emotion, SNAK and many other modalities have specific and carefully curated processes. They are not random. What chooses to surface sometimes may feel that way. It’s best not to get too stuck in your head wondering how, why or wherefore. It’s better to just accept that the time was right and you were ready to release and let go.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

The unexamined assumption that makes you wrong

Forty years. Ten models. Thousands of studies. Nobody checked the one thing they all depend on. And every time it fails, the failure gets dumped on you.

Read more →

Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place