There is a kind of friend that even if you don’t see them for ages, don’t speak to them for months, and may not visit for years that show up as if your last chat was yesterday. They are the kind of friend that is always there for you, accepting, supportive and true. With open arms, open heart and an open door. It was such a friend that we visited in Knysna as part of our Garden Route road trip.
Sharon and Chantal have been friends since high school. They were both weekly boarders, in the same class from grade 10 to matric, in the drama society and both loved art. Their paths diverged after school when Sharon went to attend the University of Cape Town while Chantal remained in Gauteng at Wits University.
After graduating Sharon remained in Cape Town, met and got married to Gary, had two children, and later moved to Knysna where they have been ever since. Chantal remained in Johannesburg, got married, had two children, got unmarried, met Matthew and remained in that crazy city ever since.
Old friends, like family.
Knysna revisited
Sharon and Gary were there when we first started working with Shape of Emotion, our model, process and tool of emotion regulation. In 2017 we stayed with them when we visited Knysna to support the victims of the fires that had ravaged the area.
At that time Knysna was blackened and scarred by burns. The inhabitants were emotionally marked by the trauma of watching homes burn to the ground - their own or other families’, having to run for their lives, and for months afterwards having to live with the smell of ash in their noses.
Memories of this period surfaced as we drove past Thesen House where, upstairs in a yoga studio, we facilitated our first Shape of Emotion group sessions. We had facilitated one on one sessions in coffee shops around town, some still there, others long closed down or moved. Then we had been more concerned with doing the work than providing a quiet private space, that we didn’t have, for it.
Knysna has been in the news lately for another disaster, this time the sorry state of its municipality and lack of service delivery. Water shortages, problems with refuse collection and problems with a mirriad other municipal services have brought a once thriving and important tourist destination to its knees.
A view of the Knysna lagoon with the Knysna heads in the background. The area around the Heads has been inhabited for thousands of years. Indigenous Khoisan people lived here long before European settlers arrived.
From our vantage point
From our vantage point at the top of Knysna Heights, as we surveyed the land around us, the lush vegetation and view across the town, we would never have guessed there were troubles. The Heads looked magnificent, the lagoon calm.
“I wake up to that view every morning,” said Sharon as we drove towards town. “It takes me 10 minutes to get to my office which overlooks the lagoon. I could not be more grateful for the beauty I am surrounded by”
The places we visited were clean and bustling with people. In the stores and restaurants there was a hum of weekend activity. On the surface it all looked pristine and inviting.
“Oh there are plenty of problems,” said Sharon as we walked towards the Waterfront. “ But we manage to clean up well. We need the visitors, we welcome the tourists, they keep this little town going.”
Across the lagoon at Belvedere, life continued in the shine of the water and the roll of the hills. Over the mountain Brenton on Sea posed peaceful with colourful mosaic and wind-washed buildings.
Slightly inland at Rheenendal, Gary and Sharon took us to Portland Manor, a historical country estate on a working farm. Surrounded by indigenous forests, fringed by landscaped gardens and overlooking a large dam we could have been in another world.
The backyard view from Portland Manor. It dates back to 1842 when it included a sawmill, agricultural activities such as beekeeping, mulberry tree planting, and livestock farming. Today it’s a picturesque country estate and hotel.
Old friends just met
On our last day in Knysna we met up with another friend. Elke attended one of the sessions we held at Thesen House and she has remained a staunch supporter of our work. Jim Henson once said: "There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met." and Elke feels like one of those.
After weathering some extremely challenging relationship and financial storms she now resides in a small sunny cottage in a secure estate. The space is safe, warm and comfortable. She is happy and we are glad.
The last time we visited her, in 2021, she gifted each of us a sound journey session on her monochord bed. It was an extraordinary experience. Matthew was transfixed, he wanted one. Reality said it was a tad out of our budget.
This time Elke presented us with a mini monochord that she had been given and had no use for. It does need tuning and we need to find a place to use it but Matthew is thrilled. Stay tuned for news on how it gets incorporated into our work.
With the generosity of these friends, new and old, still warm in our hearts, we made our way towards Wilderness where we would stay for the balance of our time in the Garden Route. More friends to meet, and family to connect with.
Brenton-on-Sea, a popular holiday destination with lovely views (like this one) and pristine beaches, is named after Sir Jahleel Brenton, who declared Knysna a harbour in 1818.
See you soon
Back home, this past Saturday, Matthew got news of the passing of a dear friend of his. A man he considered to be like an older brother. A man he saw infrequently, the last time was several years ago when we travelled to Nelspruit on a work excursion. But he was to Matthew, like Sharon is to Chantal. Always available, ready with support, a word of wisdom or esoteric fantasy.
Lourens had not been well for some time. He had already had a stroke a few years ago and battled with lung and respiratory problems. This Saturday, he chose to strike out. Matthew will miss his often oppositional stance on world events, which were not unlike many of own.
Lourens’ sometimes hard edges were a reminder of how the scars of life’s experiences can cover and crust over the softness and care that lies beneath. He was a deeply feeling man, with few privy to this side of him. He mentored Matthew like a big brother. For someone who’s had to self-parent much of his understanding of life, this was for Matthew an oasis in a sometimes parched and unyielding world.
Lourens’s passing is another gap that cannot be filled. A spirit no longer embodied, he will remain a light for some time in the hearts of those who knew him.
A throwback to happier times: Lourens (middle) with his two brothers. Lourens was the oldest and, funnily enough, the shortest of the three, even though he was over six feet tall!
Dear friends and important places
Dear friends and important places are like the strings on the instrument of our lives. At times they need some tuning, sometimes we need to wipe off the dust and strum them for a while. As it comes to life with little effort, the melody that emerges reaffirms our connectedness.
The memories formed by our dear friends and the places that have deep meaning for us become part of our sinew. They give us strength to keep on going when times are confusing and difficult. They are the energy that gets us dancing when times are good.
Whether we are together, or not, there is a twine of love that joins us. We are eternally grateful to have had these souls in our lives, to have had the experiences and engagements that we have at significant places. They make us who we are. They are a lifeline and a love line in an ever morphing, uncertain existence and a constant presence even when they are not actually there.
Until next time.
Yours in feeling,
Matthew & Chantal
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Part two: Radiant, remarkable, and rustic
Continue your journey with us as we delve deeper into the radiant, remarkable, and rustic elements that define life in this captivating region of South Africa. Below, you’ll find more images showcasing the unique charm and character we experienced during the second part of our trip. Just as R follows Q, this collection follows the first, revealing even more of the vibrant landscape and personality of our adventure.
Down the rabbit hole we go.
More beautiful big sky as we explore along Phantom Pass road with the Knysna river on our left.
Lightning from across the lagoon. Lightning can reach temperatures of about 30,000°C, which is about five times hotter than the surface of the sun!
Knysna has many a charming place to stop and kuier. Reflections and echoes of some sagely words from John Lennon and Yoko Ono, with Chantal looking on.
Can you spot the Chantal!
Here we are standing in front of a butterfly-inspired sign in Brenton-on-Sea. It is home to the "blue butterfly," a unique species only found in Knysna. Like many things, it hasn't escaped the encroachment of humankind and is critically endangered.
Our dear friend Elke has been part of our Shape of Emotion inspired journey since the beginning. We are the proud recipients of her gracious generosity with the monochord instrument.
Moonrise in Wilderness.
About the author
5th Place
5th Place is a dynamic organization that's passionate about emotional fitness. We're the creators of Shape of Emotion, a revolutionary tool that's changing the way we understand and manage our emotions. But we're not just about theory - we're about practical, tangible change.
We offer Emotional Fitness Classes and courses that help individuals, from children to adults, build emotional resilience and well-being. For our younger audience, we've created the Vibarealm, a vibrant universe that encourages a healthier interaction with emotions.
Join us on this journey to emotional fitness and let's make the world a better place together.