Curiouser and curiouser
Alice found her escapades down the rabbit hole to be very curious. Humans are born curious and in a world where the bizarre has become normal, being carefully curious is a considered approach.
“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); “Now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was!”
Alice has suddenly stretched tall. She is bewildered by the strange things that have happened to her since she fell down the rabbit hole in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. However, she keeps on going, in spite of her increasingly bizarre experiences.
“See, see,” commands Leah when Chantal makes a cup of coffee or a bowl of food. Leah wants to see what Gaga is doing. What it looks like in the mug or bowl. She wants to witness how the grapes are sliced and the yogurt mixed in. She is incessantly curious.
It is remarkable to watch the learning that occurs, how open Leah is to new experiences and how quick she is to want to touch, turn, dig, hold, wash, clip, cut, all by herself.
Deep dives
We are all born with an innate curiosity. Matthew was directed by a determined mother to read widely and learn hard. In spite of the anxiety that the expectation to do exceptionally well produced in him earlier in his life, Matthew does love to find things out.
When Matthew does research, he does Research. He deep dives into the topic, sweeps all the available channels for information and then some more. He will double and triple check, then verify all his sources. Where you and I would be satisfied with three or four different resources, Matthew will source fifteen. At least. Sometimes he has to be stopped.
“It’s good enough, Matthew, we have enough information.” said Chantal, often.
“For now, at least?” replied Matthew, about to dive back once more.
His is an insatiable drive for information – all the information on a topic.
The gist
Chantal’s love for learning was informed by arriving on earth as the oldest and only girl in a four child family. She had to entertain herself from an early age. She was blessed with a mother who, although weighed down by prams and snotty babies, was a regular visitor to the local library.
Chantal’s approach to finding out stuff is more curated. She will source books, articles, videos, and podcasts and immerse herself in the content because it’s big or bold and most importantly, interesting. But only to a point.
She does not deep dive. She flits on the surface and absorbs the gist of the information she is covering.
She pops in and out of the resources. Like a kid at a table full of teatime treats she travels through her resources with insatiable glee but cannot choose what to stick with. She dips her finger into the cream, pops a tart into her mouth, tastes and moves on.
As a result she has a sense of what is being covered but not the specifics. Matthew, on the other hand, can rattle off the dates, times, numbers and facts at the click of a mouse. A good team these two make. Tweedledum…
Curiouser and curiouser
We both love to learn, and we learn very differently. In a world that is becoming curiouser and curiouser, we hold a position of care. We are amazed by the ingenuity of individuals and awed by the creativity that arrives in our feeds and inboxes. We celebrate the wins of the small guy, and the successes of the small girl. We observe the manipulations of the powerful and protected.
We are curious but we restrain ourselves from stumbling into the murky depths of fake news, negative rants and dark revelations. While we are aware of what is going on around us; we just don’t spend time and energy on building a case for our position or feeding the downhill slide of muck.
We choose to hold any position we have lightly and close to our hearts. We know well enough that it is useless arguing with anyone who “knows better” or has a louder mouth – in person or on social media.
Curiosity with care. That is what we stand for. Care about learning, debate, engagement and human development. Curiosity about life, love and human behaviour.
Until next time.
Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew
The Kick His Body Won’t Let Him Take
Manie Libbok kicked 73 percent for the Stormers. In 13 Tests for the Springboks, that dropped to 58 percent. Same player. Same technique. Different jersey. Coach Rassie Erasmus spent two years engineering around it: substitutions, squad omissions, giving the kicks to someone else. Every option a head coach has. The Certainty Deficit remained after all of it. Technical changes work when the pressure is low. The Certainty Deficit shows up when the pressure is high. And the distance between those two places is not something a shorter run-up can close.
Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place
Written by
Chantal Dawtrey
Supporting women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions · Emotional fitness coach
Chantal supports women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions. She designs and delivers data informed digital programmes that build organisational emotional fitness. She helps people move beyond habitual patterns into greater awareness, agency, and well being.
With over 15 years of coaching experience and more than two decades in facilitation and human development, Chantal partners with individuals, teams, and organizations to build emotional resilience, enhance self-awareness, and develop sustainable well-being strategies.
Her primary focus as a coach is supporting women, especially those in their 50’s and beyond, to navigate profound life transitions with clarity, steadiness and self-reconnection. Finding answers to questions about identity, purpose, belonging and desire to an emergence, a reclamation and a return to self.
If you're going through a transition and would like support, let's talk.
Matthew Green
Reducing the Certainty Deficit in high-performing people and teams · Emotional fitness coach
Matthew works with athletes, performance teams, and anyone who wants to reduce the Certainty Deficit in their situation or context.
The Certainty Deficit is the space between what you can do and what your body will let you do when it counts. It is context-specific and situational. A person or athlete can have zero deficit in one situation and a significant one in another.
The body holds beliefs that keep the Certainty Deficit in place. These beliefs run deeper than self-talk and faster than any conscious strategy. When they shift, the ceiling shifts, and new possibilities arise.
Matthew is also an emotional fitness coach who supports individuals to live and lead from a place of inner clarity and stability. The work is somatic-first, practical, and grounded.
If you're seeing a pattern that current approaches haven't shifted, let's talk.
My origin story: Why elite athletes underperform when it counts
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All is not fair
The Boks are back and it’s great to be on the winning side but a wrong call by the ref can change that and the way we feel. All is not fair so managing our state is the real job to be done.