It all starts with the big toe. In order to properly address the issue with her left hip, Chantal’s physio recommended she start using a bunion corrector. The root cause of the discomfort in her hip and lower back originates in her foot, or more specifically her left big toe.
“Yes, you must do the glute strengthening exercises but nothing will change for long if we don’t realign the toe, build up the instep and straighten your foot,” said physio Nisha.
Hence the brace that makes Chantal look like she has a bionic toe. Thank goodness the weather is getting warmer because it has to be worn “as much as you can”. This means walking around barefoot as no shoe can be worn when the brace is fitted.
While the brace is doing its job while it is on, Chantal has to remain conscious of how her foot is positioned when it is off as it is easy to fall back into the old habit of the lazy inward leaning ankle. This is going to be a long process and time will tell as to whether Chantal can keep it up or give it up when things get tiresome, boring or there doesn’t seem to be much change. Correcting a lifetime of learning will happen in small, sometimes imperceptible, steps.
Challenges with the system
We completed the report on the assessments and intervention with the social workers from two weeks back. Many of the challenges our group of social workers face have to do with the system they work in. These include academic pressures and requirements, if they are still studying, the needs of the particular high schools that they are placed at, and the expectations and administrative demands of the social work profession.
This is not unusual, most of the people-focused, helping professions will be challenged by various systems. In fact everyone operates within some kind of system, be it a family system, friendship, community, faith-based, or business.
Some of the social workers’ complaints about the systems showed up like this:
📌 “The university needs to understand how much work we have to do.”
📌 “The educators should know what our role is.”
📌 “The learners need to see us as professionals and must respect us.”
📌 “We should have more opportunities to debrief properly and be better supported.”
In a previous workshop with matrons of a retirement village group the call was for the patients to be reasonable and not so rude, with a people with albinism session the demand was for “them”, “those people” to change. It is always the system, the others out there, that are at fault and while this may be true, is it likely that “they” will change?
Realistically, no.
Spring is truly springing! Symbolising strength, luxury, and beauty, our lovely cymbidium orchids are now in full bloom.
It starts with you
So where does that leave the exhausted social workers, the irritated matrons, and the rageful women with albinism? There is only one place they can look to: themselves. To this they clamour:
“You can’t be serious? I’m the one that must change?”
And then Matthew replies, “Short answer: Yes. But you do not have to do anything. It’s just that the system is the system. It can change but only if it is in its interests and then it will usually take a looooong time.”
Chantal will add, “You know that saying, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’? Well this is what it is talking about. If you want change, it starts with you.”
“And there’s more,” Matthew says with a flourish, “If something in the system changes then the system changes because you are part of that system and you will have changed.”
View from our window of the majestic pin oak, slowly dressing in a rich livery of verdant green.
We have a choice
Sounds simple, isn’t really, but it is profound and when you get it, you realise how powerful you really are. When we don’t like something we have choices. A myriad of them ranging from acceptance of the status quo, adjusting expectations, taking responsibility for the way we feel, doing something to make things better or committing to taking time out. Whatever the circumstances are, there is no need to stay stuck.
Like Chantal’s toe, it is often the little things that need adjusting. By making the small changes, consistently, consciously and with commitment the big changes fall into place.
A throwback to this time last year when we attended a business expo to share our work and humorously discovered that "White men don’t stress!" It highlighted that businesses still need to recognize the benefits of investing in the 'softer side' of things.
Small incremental changes
Another win by the Springboks against the All Blacks in a game peppered with multiple mistakes and unforced errors left us feeling both relieved and hopeful for a developing, increasingly self confident national team. Led by possibly the most innovative rugby brain and coach in history, Rassie Erasmus has high standards while also embracing the missed catches, the missteps, the overthrows and other blunders as opportunities to learn.
The rules of the game are in constant flux and teams have to adapt. For Rassie there are no excuses. Each player has to take responsibility for their mishaps while sharing the joy of success. On Saturday it was clear that the players were not quite at ease with the new format of play, and yet they prevailed and the team won. It will take small, incremental, consistent changes over time for it all to eventually click.
A collective sense of accountability and determination where everyone matters and no-one is special informs this team. They believe in themselves, their team and the bigger picture of what they represent to the country and rugby internationally.
“It is truly a thing of beauty”, Matthew likes to say. If we could all be like that what a different world this would be.
Thursdays are 'Granny Day' at 5th Place, and it’s a joy to see how baby Leah is growing and changing from week to week—something we adults would do well to remember to keep doing!
In the closing hours of the weekend we chose to wind down, after that super exciting game that we watched again, by watching the French movie, The Taste of Things, starring Juliette Binoche and Benoit Magimel. We have spent far too much time watching series that after six to ten hours have ended up a disappointment so a movie of two hours felt like a more resourceful use of our time.
It was a good decision. The movie, beginning with no context and little dialogue, shows a slow unfolding of the preparation of a multicourse meal. Set in 1889, the lighting is either sunlight or candlelight, the vast stove powered by coal is topped by copper pots of all sizes, while the water has to be brought in from a well. The production of this meal is mesmerising. It’s like watching a dance, or an artist’s painting evolve in front of us.
It’s not a film for everyone. French with subtitles, about cooking and eating and love, many will overlook the subtleties, and wonder about the pace. It is so layered, so flavourism, yet restrained, so aromatic and delicate that it left us wanting more.
Not a The Taste of Things 2, that coarse Hollywoodising overkill, but an opportunity to watch it again. To look for those things we missed the first time. Those small incremental changes over time that improved the recipes, informed the food choices, and impacted the development of characters that made all the difference but were sometimes lost. It’s like going back to look at your favourite painting and seeing something new each time.
It was in the viewing of the film, and sticking with it through the initial discomfort of not knowing what we were watching, that we were changed. We will return to it as different people, with a different perspective and we will be provided an opportunity to be changed again. This is what life offers us if we are open to accepting it.
Until next time.
Yours in feeling,
Matthew & Chantal
Experience the ultimate journey in Emotional Mastery online! Our groundbreaking course, rated 4.94, will revolutionise your understanding and management of emotions.
About the author
5th Place
5th Place is a dynamic organization that's passionate about emotional fitness. We're the creators of Shape of Emotion, a revolutionary tool that's changing the way we understand and manage our emotions. But we're not just about theory - we're about practical, tangible change.
We offer Emotional Fitness Classes and courses that help individuals, from children to adults, build emotional resilience and well-being. For our younger audience, we've created the Vibarealm, a vibrant universe that encourages a healthier interaction with emotions.
Join us on this journey to emotional fitness and let's make the world a better place together.