A guest in the house

We learnt a great deal by having a house guest. Visitors that spend a night or more bring a different energy into the home. They teach us things about ourselves that we may not have been aware of.

You can learn a great deal by having a house guest. Visitors that spend a night or more bring a different energy into the home. They teach you things about yourself that you may not have been aware of. They also teach you about other ways of being that can be enlightening and refreshing.

We were the two day landing spot for our friend Elke on her way from Knysna to visit her sons in Hamburg, Germany. A bit of clever budgeting had resulted in her arriving in Johannesburg late Monday night with her long haul flight via Amsterdam leaving late Wednesday evening. A good opportunity to bunk down in Johannesburg with us.

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Our guest arrived

When our guest arrived we stayed up late, warming ourselves in front of the fire and catching up with her. Before she retired to bed we covered our daily routine:

“We wake up pretty early, I do yoga, we do a meditation practice, and then breakfast,” said Chantal.

“I think I will sleep in tomorrow morning,” said Elke looking tired, “I’ll join you for breakfast.”

We showed her her room, warned her about night time “cat-traps” in the passage and left her to settle in as we settled down for our belated sleep.

Over the next two days, we wove our way through the hours, meeting up, touching base, and checking in with Elke. We had work to do but we also wanted to ensure that our guest was properly attended to.

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5th Place’s version of a guest room. It’s our space for friends and family. It comes complete with crochet art from Chantal and picture art from Matthew.

To be a gracious host

We all have different routines, eating patterns, dietary preferences, activity needs, and entertainment expectations. Accommodating these for our guest while balancing ours was a priority. It is easy to get stuck in one’s ways, preferring to have things done in a particular way and then irked when these are tousled by a visitor.

That move to be the gracious host, to throw open the fridge and grocery cupboard and say “Have whatever you want!” And then being surprised when something has been taken. The momentary discomfort at a tea bag plopped in the wrong place, or a mug, still half full and coated in chocolate, left on a counter.

These feelings, so irrational, result in a tiny little wave of guilt and the thought that we may not be the gracious hosts we believe we are. And yet the little poke does serve to wake us up to the fact that we are not alone and that letting be and letting go is far better than the angst of getting it right.

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Acceptance, flexibility and a healthy dose of lightheartedness can ease the meeting of another’s world view and values.

Belief in positive outcomes

Meals were massaged to accommodate preferences and music manipulated to avoid overstimulation. Yoga mats were shared, teapots expanded and lemons multiplied and divided.

Our guest was super laid back and largely unfazed. She was happy to stay put and decompress. She spent her time exploring the garden, sitting in the sun, playing with the cats, finishing the jigsaw puzzle and generally relaxing before the next stretch of her journey.

“It feels like I have been here for a week,” she said on the afternoon of her departure, “A bit like it was a retreat.”

With an attitude of acceptance and an unwavering belief in the positive outcome of everything, her plans fell into place. Even when it looked like they did not. Five minutes before her Uber arrived and trying to work out which terminal she needed to go to, an ominous message appeared in her app: Flight cancelled.

What? Now what? We were all a bit stunned but averted any leaning to panic.

Matthew took charge, “Go and sort it out at the airport rather than try to call at this hour,” he advised, “You are early enough. And you can always come back.”

She did just that. With a hasty goodbye, she dived into the Uber, bags flung every which way across her body, ready for her mission. Somewhat later she messaged us. All was well. Better than well. Not only did she get another flight quite easily but her train that she would have missed as a result of the change was replaced by a direct flight too.

She arrived earlier in Hamburg than she would have if she had taken the train. Her son told her that they were doing maintenance on that railway route so she would not have been able to catch that train anyway! Talk about serendipitous!

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Matthew learning to play the monochord, generously gifted to us from Elke when we visited Knysna. It’s a beautiful instrument tuned to, yes, a single chord used for sound journeys.

Scent of curiosity

We are not so sure we would have been so calm in the face of a flight cancellation and the possible knock on effect and ramifications. The ability to accept and go with the flow was remarkable. Elke’s sojourn blew in a slip of a being and left behind her scent of curiosity and quirkiness.

“Elke is lucky she only stayed for two days,” laughed Chantal, wading through quotes for this article. “It looks like the tipping point is three days when guests become a nuisance, smelly, or a pest!”

She certainly was not any of those. In her departure she sent us a photo collage message of thanks for her time with us. It gave us a window into her view of us and our home. A beautiful rendition of her stay.

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All's well that ends well. A lovely scene from Hamburg.

Scent of curiosity

As we welcomed a guest into our home, we were offered an opportunity to get to know her and ourselves better. We are all mirrors of each other, all part of a huge energetic field, a community and complex system that resonates and deflects our loves, likes and dislikes. We all make up the everything of who we are.

The poem, The Guest House by Rumi, came to mind as we reflected on our experience with our guest.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

We are grateful for whoever comes as real guests too. Being human means being in relation with others. And we know that each and every person who comes through our door leaves an impression, gifts us lessons and honours us with memories.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Matthew & Chantal

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