Journey within yourself

The morning dawned quiet and cool. Sunlight brightened the greening oak, the birds twittered and sang. The shower was already going. Matthew B was getting ready. His bright yellow bag was packed for his next adventure in Japan.

Last minute photos were taken and last minute words said. A last minute gift given. Matthew B stuffed the metal and beaded 5th Place flower into his bag before Peace, his transport to the airport, arrived. Final hugs and goodbyes and Matthew B was gone.

“How do you feel?” asked Matthew G as we walked back into the house.

“I feel quite sad,” replied Chantal.

It had been a whirlwind week overflowing with connecting engagements, different experiences and plenty of laughter. Matthew B had imbued our home with a sunny energy that we would miss.

Experience what we did

Matthew B had requested that he simply wanted to be in our space and experience what we did as a couple and as 5th Place. To honour his wishes we found ourselves whizzing from one thing to the next with him in tow. He joined us at pilates on Monday morning, came with to Impala for the week’s fruit and vegetables and was “forced” to eat the same breakfast that we eat, even though he “usually doesn’t eat breakfast”. After this week, he does.

He also knows what waste goes into the recycling bin, the ecobricks, the bokashi bin and to the worms. He had several morning swims, claiming that it wasn’t that cold. His “office” was outside under the covered patio. An extension cord kept his laptop charged, and wifi extended to that part of the property. He was visited by the cats, several nosy pigeons and the odd hadeda or ladedas as Matthew B liked to call them.

In the afternoons Matthew B was dragged along with us on our daily walk around the suburb. It was an opportunity to catch up on the work we had all managed to do and talk through some of the challenges we were facing. Matthew B was working on his speech for Japan and reviewing some of his backstory. Of course this was an opportunity for us to find out more about his past too.

Not just another book launch

Tuesday evening saw us at another book launch at Love Books. The book explores how images of African men in uniform, often policemen and nightwatchmen in colonial South Africa challenged traditional narratives of oppression.

Before making the reservation, Chantal had a vague feeling that Matthew B may find the launch of The Nightwatchman by Hlonipha Mokoena interesting. He had a military background and was from England, the land that had colonised this country.

The interview with the author captivated Matthew B, he bought a book and had it signed. He asked Hlonipha to write in IsiZulu “To Matthew, the ununiformed, unknown man.” She was surprised by this request but complied.

“That’s who I am,” said Matthew B showing us the script.

Matthew B started reading the book before he went to sleep and found his dreams full, his sleep not that deep. The experience had made a mark. It had not been just another book launch.

A school in Soweto

Breakfast with Chantal’s brother, coffee with Bentley and tea with Tobie, cake sliced into three other days and brought variety and interest. But it was Thursday that made such a difference to Matthew B’s stay.

We wanted to give him a real feel of where we have been and what we have done as part of our journey as 5th Place, introducing Shape of Emotion and Emotional Fitness to our world. Last Thursday we gave him a sense of South Africa’s extremes too.

First we took him to Soweto, and Sekwati Primary School to meet Snooky Msibi the principal and trailblazer for Shape of Emotion. Snooky participated in one of our early workshops in 2018. She completed the practical work and assignments and secured herself a Shape of Emotion Foundation certificate. As a result of her experience, she invited us to facilitate a Shape of Emotion workshop for her staff which we conducted on the 1 October 2018.

Now, almost seven years later, Matthew B was given a tour of the facilities, including one of the few fully working computer school rooms in that area. We popped into the actual room that we had used for the workshop and visited the generous vegetable garden.

The challenges seem to have become even more difficult for this and most resource-constrained schools. Snooky has had to be consistently strong and tenacious to keep her school going, while also maintaining her own mental and physical strength.

While we were speaking to her a staff member came to notify her that the wifi was acting up.

“There are so many problems,” said Snooky with a sigh, “But poverty is the biggest issue.”

Matthew G went to investigate the wifi problem. It was quickly sorted out. We couldn’t help Snooky with the economic situation but there was at least this small problem that she no longer needed to concern herself with.

To the other side of the tracks

Before we left we were able to introduce Matthew B to Astonishment Mapurisa who heads up YOSA, Youth Opportunities South Africa. He employs and oversees a group of social workers that are placed at schools in Soweto. His offices just happen to be on the property of Sekwati Primary School.

Our project to train a cohort of social workers to use Shape of Emotion for themselves and in their group work was due to start in 2020. But, along with so much in the world, this crashed in the COVID scramble. After several attempts to reinitiate the project, we are going to try again. Things look more promising this time round.

The morning done, the important people met, we made our way out of Soweto via the colourful Cooling Towers and the FNB Stadium Calabash and on to the other side of the tracks.

Sandton. From under-resourced to over indulged, Sandton shone in all her glass and steel glory. The wide clean streets lined with designer buildings vied for attention. They towered over all of us as if to shout: “Look at me! Look at me!”

Nelson Mandela Square at lunchtime buzzed with fashion clad clientele in sparkling jewellery and surprised oversized sunglasses. A large group of school children on an outing gathered at the feet of Madiba’s massive statue for a photoshoot.

The contrast between the two environments was stark, even shocking. The opulence of Sandton stuck in our gall but there was hope for a better future for those less fortunate.

Journey within yourself

Matthew B was going to Japan to talk at a conference about his lived experience of his own mental health challenges. His story is one of a difficult childhood in a dysfunctional family and a world that he did not seem to fit in. He certainly found nowhere that he belonged.

His journey to recovery has been largely an inner one supported by people who were prepared to listen to him, accept him and offer real guidance. Part of his continued and ongoing recovery wraps around working on himself to build his emotional fitness in part by using Shape of Emotion as a body-based emotion regulation tool.

We believe everyone can find the beauty within themselves and heal their hurts by doing the inner work. Our vision is to show others that there is a way to feel better. That way is by feeling better using Shape of Emotion and building emotional fitness.

Matthew B’s trip to South Africa and on to Japan has been a life altering experience for him on many levels. The ongoing journey to emotional, spiritual and physical health is one where you can venture to different lands and interesting places but mostly it is a journey within yourself. That is where you find your light.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place