Man plans, God laughs

The last time anything went according to plan was… Well… We can’t remember. We do plan. We plan our days, weeks, holidays, renovation projects. It feels good to have a plan. To plot out what and how things should go.

It is satisfying to plan out what needs to be done, what has to be done to get those things done, and what should happen in between. It gives us a sense of structure, a way forward that seems manageable and clear. Maybe we are just very optimistic, but rarely does the plan unfold as expected.

It is said that if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. God laughs a great deal at us. We should be stand up comedians. Last week was a barrel full of laughter for the Man upstairs.

Shelving time

The start to this year has been very focused on getting all those outstanding maintenance issues completed. Matthew, as previously mentioned, thought he could get most of them done in the week that Chantal was in Cape Town. God giggled at that. Loudly.

Matthew made some good progress and the momentum was sustained as we entered February: gate intercom system – tick, solar PV system – tick, car service – tick. Then there were the upgrades that have been hovering around, winking at us as we patched and fixed.

We have a basement under the main bedroom that has been through several iterations of improvements. Matthew decided it was now time to get the shelves that he has been gabbing about for years, installed. The basement would become a much more ordered storage area.

It was supposed to take a week. Barring the wavy wall, gluing offcuts to make up for a slight miscalculation, things went well.

And then it came to a halt. Certain brackets ordered were out of stock and remain so.

Why not buy different brackets? Matthew’s desire for symmetry and order and basic bracket function held him back.

And so we wait.

Cupboard upgrade

Meanwhile, back in the house, we had at last decided to upgrade the 70’s style cupboards in the main and guest bedrooms. We could not do them all at the same time – we needed space to store clothes and sleep, so we started in the guest room.

Now, we could simply have hired contractors that broke down the old cupboards, shipped them out and brought in the new, but we did not do that. For several reasons.

One to save a considerable amount of money. Two, because we are giving the old cupboards to our trusty maintenance and housekeeping team. And three, because? We can’t remember what the third reason was but it was a good one. Maybe God’s laughter drowned it out. And maybe we didn’t need a third reason.

Bed, side tables, carpets, lamps moved out, cupboards emptied into suitcases, boxes, and bags. All temporarily stored away in the lounge, in the small study and on the new and unfinished shelves in the basement. So much stuff. Too much stuff.

God laughs heartily

The old cupboards were carefully dismantled and stored under the covered patio to protect them from the rain. New cupboards were installed in the guest bedroom. Finished but not quite. (Can you hear the giggle?) Cornices had to be purchased and fitted, some patching done where some unplastered wall was exposed and handles bought.

Never mind, next up was the main bedroom cupboards. No rest for these comedians. We had to move into the guest bedroom, move all our clothes out of our cupboards into the new, handle-less cupboards and move the furniture out of the main bedroom to other parts of the house.

We now have a bed on its side in the sunroom, a mini furniture store in the lounge, and a small study that has become a medium sized storage room stuffed with carpets, soft furnishings and more stuff. Too much stuff.

Anyone who has done this will understand the Tetris tessellation boogie that takes place. The head scratching when you need something and it’s moved… to – where? Fun and games digging in an overfull box to retrieve that item that you thought you didn’t need, and now do.

All of this and coaching work also needs to get done. God laughs heartily.

A new addition arrived

In between all of the chaos and craziness on the home front, a new baby arrived. At a healthy 3.7kg Liam looks just like his sister, Leah, but is more laid back.

His entry into this world was also not quite as planned either. He was on oxygen for a few days, had to have a minor operation to correct a tongue tie and has been attached to tubes since his arrival.

Luckily, he is getting stronger every day. His parents can’t wait to welcome him to his home. His sister wants to meet him and cuddle him. Grandparents are impatient to hold him, to gaze and coo at him, cord free. In the line stand uncles and aunts, friends and extended family all waiting to meet little Liam.

In this instance God did not laugh as much as smile warmly down on everyone, including doctors and nurses, doulas and good friends. He has had plenty to laugh about. As we continue our crusade to upgrade may he find humour elsewhere.

Until next time.

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

Eight years of Shape of Emotion

For the greater part of 2017 we had sat with a question that had no easy answer.

South Africa had the lowest mental health score in the world. Over 17 million diagnosed anxiety disorders in a population of 58 million. 2.8 psychologists per 100,000 people. Eighteen million citizens living at a poverty threshold of $1.90 a day. A country shaped by slavery, colonialism, Apartheid, civil unrest, and ongoing economic collapse.

The maths of the prevailing model simply did not work. One therapist. One patient. One hour. Repeat. There were not enough therapists. There would never be enough therapists. And the children arriving at school every morning, locked in fight-or-flight from the violence and poverty surrounding them, could not learn. Education was supposed to be the way out. But education requires a brain that is online, and a nervous system in survival mode takes that offline.

And so we asked the question: What if we could build something different? Something that works with children and adults. Something that works in groups. An African solution for an African problem.

We had no idea if it was even possible.

On 3 February 2018 in a small room in Linden, Johannesburg we presented Shape of Emotion to a small group of people at a pilot workshop.

Eight years later, Shape of Emotion has been used with people from all over the world. It works and both the world and the science is beginning to finally catch up.

Here’s our homage to Shape of Emotion on its eighth birthday.

Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place