The only place is in

We took a short break to visit the mountains. The Cavern in the northern Drakensberg to be specific.  A family run family hotel set in the crook  of the mountains. With three meals catered for, teas morning and afternoon and an abundance of activities to take part in, here you bring yourself, your walking shoes and a determination to relax. 

It was difficult to comprehend that only one week previously there had been an unseasonal and particularly heavy snow storm. There was evidence of it. Bent, broken and felled branches stood testament to the ferocity of the weight that had descended. The sounds of chainsaws penetrated the normally quiet air to cut and clear the timber limbs that could do even more damage if left to their own devices and the wind. 

The sun shone but it was not warm as the wind, gusty, forceful, and cold, made it unpleasant to walk outside if not adequately covered. We were prepared but our bodies, ready for warmer days, felt the extra effort needed to stay insulated from the icy licks. 

Many memories of other visits

Chantal has had the privilege of staying at The Cavern on several occasions. This latest stay brought back many memories of previous visits, with younger children, usually when the weather was warmer. 

The very first visit was to celebrate her father’s 60th birthday in 2001. Chantal’s daughter Cailyn was 9 and Judson was 5 years old. There were only two other cousins at that time, Jessica, at 4 years old and her younger sister Kathryn at 2 years bumping around, on her father’s back in a baby carrier. Jessica was unimpressed with the magnificence of our surroundings and  announced on our return from our first walk that she didn’t like going up that “idiot mountain”. 

Over the years the other cousins were introduced as the family grew. Some loved the walks up the mountains and to the streams, some, like Judson, did not. He preferred to play in the pool and play pool and find other children to play with. Jess grew to enjoy the space and the walks up the no-longer idiot mountain. 

It was fun to introduce Matthew to the place, with its many spaces for activities or relaxation. It also came as a shock to realise just how long back she had last been there. Over ten years had passed. Where had the time gone? 

Even as The Cavern had enjoyed several upgrades and improvements it seemed to have retained its essence. Casting her eyes back, Chantal reflected how, in contrast, so much had changed in her life.

People don’t like change

We hear so often that people don’t like change and that change is such a stressor for most. The thing is, although our brains prefer the certain and the routine because it expends less energy, our minds need change to develop and grow. 

Sometimes that change is forced upon us and sometimes we initiate it. In both instances it’s the unknown that sets the heart racing and the blood pumping. What if I do? What if I don’t? Questions keep us up at night as we try to make sense of the unknown and keep control of the shifts. 

No-one can ever perfectly predict what the outcome will be as Chantal has been witness to as she trawls through journals to gather data to include in a story about the development of Shape of Emotion. It has been a sobering exercise and not only because there has been so much information to get through. 

Only recently has she managed to finish going through the journals for 2019 and start on the next year. The last few weeks of 2019 and the beginning weeks of the following year were filled with hope, dreams and desired goals for 2020. There were whispers of something in China and Europe but life was carrying on as normal at the tip of Africa. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. It was going to be a good year. Oh.  

Everybody chose a side

Swiftly the narrative changed. Suddenly we were all very serious. There appeared to be a significant threat out there. Then it was here, in our living rooms as on the 16th March 2020 a state of emergency was announced and we were confined to our homes. 

The levels of confusion, uncertainty and fear had profound effects on us as we grappled to understand and prepare. Nobody had any idea what the future held. Panic swept across the country. People lost all sense and sanity and emptied supermarkets of toilet paper!

We were in a war zone with no tangible enemy to defend against. It was a virus, invisible and deadly (or so we thought). Very quickly the media sprang into action building defence strategies, defining the enemy and demanding accountability and action. Nobody really knew what they were talking about and everybody chose a side. 

Our world had suddenly changed in a way we were completely unprepared for.

Demand change in others

This unanticipated change left us flailing and inept, incapable of handling it with much acuity. Sadly, the anxiety and distress made us ugly, disconnected, polarised and conflicting beings. We all suffered while we tried to contain and control our out of control state.  

You’d think we would have learnt from that time. Like: don’t believe everything you hear, see or watch. Keep your mind open for other possibilities. Look where the money flows. But mostly look after yourself. 

But no. After COVID it was Ukraine, today it is the conflict in the Middle East. Politics around the world is a mess. Economies are collapsing. We think we know what is going on, but we don’t. We think that by taking sides in battles that are not ours we can somehow influence the outcome. We can’t. And we continue to fight and stay polarised and in conflict. Wracked with anger, anxiety and righteous indignation, fingers are pointed and demands are made that “they” must change, “they” are bad, “they” should, could, must, have to. Change.

Isn’t it ironic, we’re quick to find fault and demand change in others. Let them be uncomfortable and make the change. Leave me out of it. I’m just fine and dandy. Not. 

The only place we should be looking to change is ourselves. The only place we have any influence and real control is with ourselves. And, as we say so often, if we just focus on getting our interior world right, healthy, clean and whole, then suddenly our exterior world will look different too. 

The only place is in

We truly cannot say what the next week, month, year will have in store for us. Certainly there will be change. Big or small. Big and small. We can take responsibility for the way we feel. In the moment. Right here and right now. It’s really the only thing we have any meaningful control over. The only place to go is in.

If we manage how we feel, raise our awareness, and take conscious action to stay connected to our core essence, our compassion and the understanding that unity is better than polarisation, then the world will be a better place. Clarity of intent is easier when our minds are clear and our views are unfiltered through the jarring media hype and the demands for our attention. The only place to go is in. 

When the world feels chaotic and the demands on us overwhelming, when we cannot make sense of what is happening or why, this is the time to turn inwards and go still. The only place to go is in. 

We have what we call a presencing prayer that is a useful anchor at times like this. 

Go outdoors if you can, and stand barefoot on the ground. If this is not possible, it is okay, you can do this anywhere. Close your eyes and ask yourself:

Where am I?

What am I doing?
Why am I doing it?

Where are my feet?
Where are my hands?
Where is my head?

Where is my heart?

• Take a deep breath in and sigh it out and then close out by saying:

I give thanks for the love and light of the one creator. 

The only place to go is in.

Until next time. 

Yours in feeling,
Chantal & Matthew

Credits for this issue — Images: Midjourney & 5th Place