The soundtrack to our lives
Leah knows what music she likes, so do we. Music is important to us and has a useful lesson to teach too.
“I want mooky, Gaga, mooky please.”
This was Leah’s request when we got in the car to take her home on Thursday. “Mooky” is music. She wanted to listen to music while we travelled. She usually knows exactly what she wants to listen to.
“Not this one,” she said as a song started.
“Not this one,” to the next one too.
And the next. And maybe the next.
She doesn’t have the vocabulary to ask for the song she does want to hear so it is a bit hit and miss.
Chantal heard that Leah likes to sit in the car with her young uncle Adi and listen to music. She asked him what they listen to, hoping to get some direction as to Leah’s current tastes.
“Oh we listen mostly to classical music these days,” Adi said smiling.
The next time we were all in the car, Chantal put her classical playlist on. Opera was not favoured by Lady Leah. Not unsurprising.
“Search for Mozart for children,” suggested Matthew.
Chantal found a playlist and put it on.
“Sounds a bit dirgey,” she said, pulling a face.
She moved the music on to another classical, non-opera playlist.
Leah seemed to be satisfied with this. She stared out the window, chewed on her naartije and looked out for big trucks and buses.
Music is important
Music is important to us. There is always music playing in our house. It sets the tone and mood for the many hours we spend inside. It supports our thinking process, accompanies our creative and not so creative work tasks and fills the atmosphere with a positive energy.
The day starts off with calming meditation music. At breakfast we change it to something with more of a beat, but not too jarring. We mostly listen to house, electronic, melodic techno, neoclassical, and ambient music while we are working. Preferably with no lyrics which we find intrusive, inane and distracting.
“I can’t bear that high squeaky voice thing that some artists like to add to their mix either,” remarked Chantal, striding out of the office to the lounge to change the channel.
We wouldn’t be able to tell you what the latest pop songs are or who the latest music stars are. We no longer listen to the radio. Not in the car or anywhere else for that matter.
Ever since ClassicFM was swallowed up by HOT102.7FM there have been no radio stations that we enjoy listening to. Not only do we not find the music to our taste but we cannot endure the in between chatter and repetitive, largely useless, interruptions called news.
These days we are not at the mercy of what music others choose to serve us, we can choose the music that truly feeds us. YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music and the many other platforms available offer a treasure trove of music to sample, discover and experience.
The soundtrack to our lives
Of course songs have their place in our lives. Songs make up our history. One of our favourite things to do is to go down memory lane and listen to the music of our youth.
Matthew has a vast library of music and a vast memory of artists and song titles that he finds and plays. Something we watch will set off a memory. He’ll find the song or songs and play them as he recounts the story from his past.
“Remember this song?”
“Where were you when this was a hit?”
“Oh my gosh, I loved that band!”
The Beatles, Queen and several 80’s artists with big hair and bigger shoulder pads sound through the speakers. Michael Jackson, George Michael and Billy Joel vie for airspace. We dance and laugh and sigh at what we once were.
Music becomes the soundtrack to our lives. One that we can revisit each time we hear the song. One that we continue to create.
Music teaches much
Music also teaches us many things. It teaches us rhythm and rhyme; the difference between melody and discord. It shapes our listening tastes, and nourishes our auditory sense. Music makes us happy, tearful, proud and peeved.
French composer Claude Debussy once said, “Music is the space between the notes.”
“Otherwise it’s just noise,” added Matthew. “It is something that Wayner Dyer taught me many moons ago. He said that music is both the sound and the silence.”
In this way music reminds us that if we want to flow in our lives, we too need breaks. We need those spaces between the sounds of life and work. When we don’t give ourselves those moments of silence and breath, the internal and external noise can rise alarmingly. A dissonant maelstrom is created that throws us off course and into distress.
When you find yourself pushing hard to produce, to show up, to get through your busy and full days, listen to your body. It is making music or is it a discordant noise? You are the creator of your score. Make sure to include the regular breaks and pauses that allow you to find your preferred melody.
Until next time.
Yours in music,
Chantal & Matthew
Credits for this issue — Images: 5th Place
Written by
Chantal Dawtrey
Supporting women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions · Emotional fitness coach
Chantal supports women, especially in midlife and beyond, to navigate life transitions. She designs and delivers data informed digital programmes that build organisational emotional fitness. She helps people move beyond habitual patterns into greater awareness, agency, and well being.
With over 15 years of coaching experience and more than two decades in facilitation and human development, Chantal partners with individuals, teams, and organizations to build emotional resilience, enhance self-awareness, and develop sustainable well-being strategies.
Her primary focus as a coach is supporting women, especially those in their 50’s and beyond, to navigate profound life transitions with clarity, steadiness and self-reconnection. Finding answers to questions about identity, purpose, belonging and desire to an emergence, a reclamation and a return to self.
If you're going through a transition and would like support, let's talk.
Matthew Green
Reducing the Certainty Deficit in high-performing people and teams · Emotional fitness coach
Matthew works with athletes, performance teams, and anyone who wants to reduce the Certainty Deficit in their situation or context.
The Certainty Deficit is the space between what you can do and what your body will let you do when it counts. It is context-specific and situational. A person or athlete can have zero deficit in one situation and a significant one in another.
The body holds beliefs that keep the Certainty Deficit in place. These beliefs run deeper than self-talk and faster than any conscious strategy. When they shift, the ceiling shifts, and new possibilities arise.
Matthew is also an emotional fitness coach who supports individuals to live and lead from a place of inner clarity and stability. The work is somatic-first, practical, and grounded.
If you're seeing a pattern that current approaches haven't shifted, let's talk.
My origin story: Why elite athletes underperform when it counts
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